Fake Science 101: A Less-Than-Factual Guide To Our Amazing World
The textbook for when the facts are too confusing.
The most important book you’ll ever skim.
- 272 brand new, never before seen pages (even by the author).
- Cheaper than discovering all human knowledge yourself.
- Edible, if you can digest tree pulp.
- Almost entirely asbestos-free.
Preview the full book now on Amazon.
You’ll read full chapters about:
- The History of Science
- Earth Science
- Being A Scientist
- Buying Textbooks As Presents For Friends, Family, and Casual Acquaintances!
Worth Its Weight In Paper!
Finally, you’ll understand our amazing world without having to think too hard about it.
This textbook covers everything from daily life to Nobel Prize etiquette (which our lab knows a lot about). It will help you become the scientist you always dreamed of becoming while you were sleeping through science class.
For years, readers have flocked to the Fake Science site for scientifically flavored information. The research there has been lauded by Mental Floss as “inaccurate and ridiculous in every way,” praised by the Guardian as “brilliantly false,” heralded by io9 as “amazing,” and noted by Google as “a website.”
Now readers can finally share the freshest discoveries of the Fake Science lab. Larded with hundreds of footnotes, illustrations, and a small amount of lard (it reduces paper manufacturing costs), Fake Science 101 is a completely new truth-sterilized textbook.
Praise for Fake Science 101
“For the last time, I am not the physicist Stephen Hawking. I’m Steve Hawking and I’m a business administrator in Ohio. I will not read your book.”
—Stephen Hawking, Says He’s Not The Physicist, But Who Knows?
“Pretty good, but somewhat lacking in its coverage of Lithium.”
—Lithium, Third Element On The Periodic Table
“If I’d read this book, I probably wouldn’t have eaten so much uranium.”
“Thank you for contacting the offices of Neil Armstrong. The office cannot respond to all letters, but thank you for your interest. Please enjoy the enclosed color photograph.”
—Neil Armstrong, First Man On the Moon
You are one click away from buying knowledge…
(After you make a few other clicks and confirm your shipping address.)
Still need more proof that this book will change your life?
Go to the Fake Science site.
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It’s time to admit that the facts are too confusing.
A) In the 1960s, the FDA, ATF, and MPAA banned Fake Science from publishing new science until August 2012. We have complied with that ban by republishing old science on our website. However, we remain not liable for any injuries, test scores, or life-changing events that occur after you read this book.
B) It should be noted that Fake Science 101: A Less-Than-Factual Guide to Our Amazing World also won three and a half Pulitzer prizes (poetry was split this year), a "Participation Award" in the Houston Marathon, onefree small drink with the purchase of a drink of equal or lesser value, and the Fields Medal. The rest are too numerous to name.
C) Pursuant to Page 17, Paragraph Four of a 1984 settlement, we must inform you: "Don't eat that."
D) Please stay in school, unless you broke in, in which case you should leave before you get caught.
E) Contrary to our claims in a 1992 pamphlet, neon pink is not "the only color that exists."
F) The book contains no information about the Cerulean Warbler. Don't blame us. The Warbler knows what it did.
G) Due to its paper composition, the book is highly flammable, so do not use gasoline and/or matches as a book cover.
H) We just patented the space over your right shoulder. Please stop using it.
I) If you haven't bought Fake Science 101: A Less-Than-Factual Guide to Our Amazing World, we can't be held responsible.
J) For legal and tax purposes, the Fake Science labs are officially headquartered in a floating airship somewhere above the Arctic ocean. Please send any packages by throwing them upward, in a Southerly direction.