Give your child the gift of not playing!

Educational gifts:

  • Taste like sweet, sweet cardboard.
  • Are easily found in the "Other" section of most stores.
  • Introduce a child to learning and playing alone.

  • Share the gifts you want! Or hint at the ones you're going to give!

The "Knowledge Is Power" Generator Kit

This incredible gift comes with over 300 wires, four D batteries, and no instructions (figuring it out is how your child learns).

Hook it up to a fresh brain and your child will discover if nice (or naughty) thoughts can generate electrical power. If nothing else, it should keep them tangled up for a few hours.

Grab this OK Gift! (FREE BOX!)

My head is wires now!

Your Own Home Pencil Factory

Who hasn't looked at a pencil and said: "I like this, but I wish I had made it myself."

Now you can. Your tyke will have a blast sanding this wood block into a perfect hexagon (if they screw it up, you can always buy a new kit). Then they can form the lead center through hours of licking. It's the one thing that makes taking tests even more fun!

Buy the WRITE Gift! Wait, is that a typo? Oh, we just got it. Hilarious.

Lead tastes great with basil!

"Rabid Or Not" Squirrel Testing Lab

Finally, an easy way to learn about rabies.

This kit comes with one squirrel that may or not be rabid (don't worry—it's probably rabid). Your child will have to analyze the "data" in the "lab" to discover if it's safe to let their squirrel bite them.

Free rabid bat included! Very foamy!

Learning About Business Bag
$84,445.99. Free with rebate!

Teach the kid to do business without asking questions.

Give the bag to the kid. Don't open the bag. Tell the kid to hide it good. Put the kid on the plane. Tell the kid not to ask questions.

Before getting on the second plane, leave the terminal and meet with a guy holding a card that says "Dr. Reynolds." Hand the guy whatever you hid the bag in. Go back to security.

Get on the second plane. Talk to no one. There will be a red bowling bag in the baggage claim. It has the rebate. Take it. Go home, kid. Study physics.

Look away. Right now.

Do not smell the inside of the bag, Jimmy.

Don't let down your kid with a toy that's too much fun!

Get them a gift they'll remember for years, for one reason or another.

We love these educational gifts because they educate us! Did we mention education yet?